JOURNAL...9/13/2026
I'm back with a morning edition of my journeys. I am working again today on a Sunday to make up for lost hours where I stayed home and couldn't face going outside. There will only be my husband and I so I'm not worried about the social aspect of the job. I rarely speak to anyone but even their presence makes me cringe with anxiety. I'm pretty solitary and enjoy my comforts over socializing. I am terrible with computers and my husband snapped at me for not knowing how to fix an error. It stung, but he's always sour in the mornings. It is ironic because the mornings are where I get the most writing done and in the evening is when he gets most of his gaming time in. We never seem to sync up in feeling good. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my husband and he has sacrificed so much of his time and love for me that I hold nothing against him. Tiny flare ups like that don't bother me. But I did get a flash of Troy (my father) backed up in there and I didn't like it. I don't want to burden my husband with this, he has enough stress on his shoulders because of how much time I've missed from work. I am going to try my damndest to make my fucking hours. No more slack, I gotta get back to work. I think there is a limit to how much I'll let my bipolar disorder get in the way of working, making money and saving up for a house. I can't let my husband stand alone in that burden. Right now my dog is resting her head on my leg and she deserves a damned backyard. Today I feel weak after my husband snapping but I'm going to let it go. The emotional pain is just like physical pain. It will subside back into equilibrium, as all chemical systems do. I will probably start blogging after work to decompress and let you know how my progress is going. Thank you stranger!