JOURNAL...9/12/2026
Hello again! I don't know if anyone is out there reading this but I'd like to describe my day. It is early in the morning on a Saturday and I have to go into work. I don't mind going in, I've missed so many hours it's a wonder I haven't been fired already. Luckily, my boss is my husband so I have a great deal of leeway. I'm feeling a bit melancholic. I sit here, smoking my hookah and screaming into the abyss. I sent in some more submissions for my short stories but keep coming up in the negative. I've been rejected at least twenty times at this point and I am trying really hard to not give up. I write because I must. This is my purpose and my passion, I cannot stop writing. My heart wouldn't be able to take it. I just don't think anyone will want to publish me. This is a bit pathetic of me but I did cry for a while about the latest rejection email. It's foolish, I've been rejected so many times but I cannot help but take it personally. At least I can send out my stories in this small blog, there is some solace in that. The internet can devour my spirit and I still refuse to stop writing. My bipolar disorder acts up quite often and it is becoming very frustrating that I feel emotions so sharp and painfully. I go from normal to deep depression to ecstatic highs as instantly as switching TV channels. I take 10 pills in total every night to keep from flying into insanity. It's embarrassing but here I am sharing it to an imagined stranger. I am feeling a bit sad again. I will check in again tomorrow.